Picture Our Future
by JadelynWoods
Summary: Spencer Hastings is a sophomore in UPen and Toby Cavanaugh is her boyfriend that lives in a completely different state. Will they be willing to risk that to save their relationship? They might face some other problems. (Takes time in 6x18 flashback about Spencer being pregnant.)
1. Chapter 1

Hellooooo guys,I'm trying to make this a multichapter so just ask me if i should make more chapters, I also wrote it with Skipping Stones from Claire de Lune on repeat, it really has so much meaning to me, try to read it with that song and you'll cry, I promise. Enjoy!

I'm impatient, and right now this cannot be more frightening than ever, I'm pale, I haven't had my period for about 3 months, and I feel weak, I get out of the small bathroom of my dorm room at my Uni, Toby's sitting right there, looking panicked, I know he's trying to play it cool for me, but I know him so well, I sit right next to him on my bed and curl up, shaking as anxiety rises through my entire body. I throw my phone impatiently waiting for what might happen in 3 more minutes. Both of our lives are about to change completely, but we just don't want to accept that fact. When Toby takes a sip of his coffee I lost it, my eyes could not focus on anything anymore, everything I had on my mind was, What's going to happen to us? Is this the life we were planning for?

Who would have thought, Dear Mrs. Perfect Spencer Hastings will be so broken in this exact moment, I don't say this often; but the smartest people will repeat their problems so many times in their heads, they will break eventually. I look at him, stare deeply into his eyes, I'm trying to read him so hard, but his expression is irresolute. We both stay quiet, I really don't know for how long we have been waiting, it seemed like years but in real life were seconds, the anxiety was eating us both alive.

"How long does this take?" Toby says while he's shaking his leg, I could not understand his tone, is he upset? is he worried?, I just realized my face is wet, tears were falling down.

"Three minutes, says on the package." I said trying to sound strong but failing easily.

He's not looking at me, my eyes burned when more tears threatened to fall down my cheeks. He's staring at the floor and I examine him, Is he containing his emotions? Why is he doing that? Did he just forgot I'm Spencer? the girl that has been his high school sweetheart? the only girl he has ever loved? Everything we have been through and he does not trust me enough to cry in front of me?

He left his coffee on my desk and stares at me, I try to fake a smile but I started to sob.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Toby says concerned.

"Talk about what?"

"What we're gonna do if-" I cut him off without even noticing, I know my smart mind was playing tricks and I lose control of the words I was saying.

"Toby, I'm a sophomore and I'm having hard enough time juggling exams" I sounded rude, I didn't meant to, I just wanted to be sincere.

"I know." he nodded.

"And you don't even live in the state."

"I know but I… could apply for a transfer.." He's trying to find a solution to a problem with no exit.

"AND WHAT YOU'RE GONNA MOVE INTO MY DORM ROOM?" I'm starting to feel like a bitch, why am I doing this so hard for him? He looked at me with eyes full of hurt.

"You don't have to say it like that.." he looked down and I could see tears coming down his eyes.

"Like what?" I snapped.

"That living together will be such a horrible thing." He shook his head.

"In this context,it would be, I'M SORRY but it would!." I said facing the real facts.

"You're talking about this like it would ruin our lives. I mean isn't this what we were planning for? eventually…?" I stayed quiet for a minute, and I was lost in my thoughts and memories.

-Flashback-

Toby stood from my bed and comes closer to me.

"If we had a real baby… what would it look like?" He grabs my arms protectively, I chuckle knowing that it won't even happen because I'm a virgin, and we agreed we have to wait, it will happen eventually but I'm scared of it, I laugh at that thought.

"I'm picturing a newborn with…. a sixpack!" he laughs at my comment and kisses me softly, while i keep running my fingers up and down his abs over his shirt. He treats me like I'm made of crystal, and even if I don't say it out loud, I love it when he treats me so careful.

-End of Flashback-

"I… I don't know, I really…. I hadn't really thought that for ahead, I haven't even made up my mind about grad school.." I said lost in my thoughts.

"Well have you.. have you made up your mind about me?" Oh now i'm pissed, this isn't about him, I'm not depressed because him, I wouldn't blame him for what's happening inside of me right now. Is he really just worried about that? He's the only one I've ever loved, I've ever made love with and he thinks I'm having doubts about him?.

"Don't make this about something that it isn't." He swallows really hard and nervousness wins him. He started to sob so softly.

"And what about you? I'M NOT THE ONLY PERSON HERE WHO HAS PLANS! YOU KNOW! YOU SAID THAT YOU WANTED TO QUIT THE FORCE AND YOU SAID THAT YOU WANTED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL!" I started to scream, It's not all about me, I might be the one who will face more consequences but we're all in this together.

"That was your idea! not mine, And that was only because being with a cop isn't good enough for YOU!" good enough for you, those words kept repeating in my head and now i feel really guilty is this the way he has been feeling lately? that he's not good enough for me?

"I've never said that! OKAY? I just I don't know I thought that maybe you wante-"

"MORE?" He cut me off, and that just made my heart broke into a million pieces. I had a deep pain in my chest and I had the urge to scream, but only sobs could get out of my mouth.

"Can we please not do this right now? This is really hard." My voice almost fell while saying that, he cried and said softly.

"I'm sorry, I'm not trying it to make it harder.."

"It's just I feel like when we're picturing our future together..

We're not looking at the same picture anymore…" he looked down and then scared of how I may react he looks deeply into my eyes trying to find some emotion out of my bloodshot eyes.

I stand quickly and run inside of the bathroom locking myself inside. He ran beside me but i threw the door at his face, I slided my back and started to cry my eyes out. He knocked really hard.

"Spencer! Open the door! SPENCER!" I'm having a panic attack, and i don't know what to do, I am looking at myself in the mirror and I'm afraid of who I'm becoming, I take the pregnancy test that had a pink plus sign and throw it with anger across the room, that girl looks nothing like me; she's broken, her eyes are lost and screaming for help. I keep hearing Toby knocking hard ,desperate but I'm too distracted by looking at my reflection. I am crying because of pity, I look for my anxiety pills,I have stopped taking them since senior year, but the pain didn't go away, my chest feels like it's going to burst out anytime, I start to take 1, then 2, then 3…

"Spencer please don't do this" Toby is crying at the other side of the door.

"That baby needs us… it's growing inside of you Spencer, and we made it…" his sobs are even harder. I stopped and covered my mouth I scream loudly and let all of my pain go away. I look at my reflection at the mirror and break it with my own fists.

Toby breaks in and holds me close, I am shaking; my anxiety is beating me; I'm scared and It's all because of that girl I saw in the mirror, that's not me.

"How do you keep going when the worst thing has happened?" I say softly but with anger, I feel a little bit dizzy.

"You really think that having a child is the worst thing that will ever happen to us?" He looks mad.

I feel nauseous not sure if it's because of the baby that is growing inside of me or it's because I have been crying my heart out for an hour now.

"No. The worst thing that has happened is that I can't even recognise myself in the mirror anymore."

Toby knows me, more like he knows himself. He hates to look at me like that, I seem so vulnerable to him.

"I understand Spencer, but we're both lost in our paths, we have to guide ourselves back and we won't be able to do that if you keep thinking that about yourself!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello beautiful people! I have decided to update because I'm really bored, and my spoby friends are telling me to continue, i love you so much, enjoy! Hailey and Kendall you are amazing :)**

 **Toby's POV**

After all the drama has passed, and she had cried all the afternoon, she fell asleep; I'm actually caressing her back because I love to watch her sleep so peacefully, she's having a heavy breathing right now but maybe that's just because of the crying. I don't know what am I going to do, I mean I don't want to lose this baby; this is our baby; we've created this; but it's up to her; it's between her career, her dream life or our baby; I'm not forcing her to do anything but I think this baby will bring us hope, after the relationship is falling apart because of distance.

I love her, I really do, but she's not making any effort to keep going, we're not teenagers anymore, we're grown adults and it's clear that she does not want to be with me anymore, or at least one part of her thinks so. Maybe i'm just not good enough for her. She opens her eyes, fear shine into her eyes; when she noticed I was holding her from the back she calmed, her muscles calmed.

"Spence, What happened? Were you having a nightmare?" I stare at the clock; it's 12:37 AM. She brings herself up really fast and runs to the bathroom, I run as fast as I could until I understand where this was going, I hold her hair up and soothed her back with my hand, my other hand holding her hair up, she empties all of her stomach into the toilet and I feel bad for her, I did this to her, she's going to be in pain and sick because I fucked her and she forgot her pill.

 **-Flashback-**

Spencer went great on her final exams, so I wanted to surprise her; I'm coming for an unexpected visit, I'm speaking to her on the phone I mute the call and knock on the door.

"Hold on baby someone's knocking.." She says through the phone as I knocked. She opens the door and her smile couldn't be bigger, she throws herself at me, I kiss her; but this wasn't any kiss: it felt like high school kisses, no concerns at all, i feel all young again, happy and without worries when I'm with her, she makes me feel that way, I have missed it.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had work back in Rosewood!"

"I wanted to congratulate you for your excellent grades on your finals!" She's still shocked.

Tonight we decide to go to a club, Spencer looks extremely gorgeous tonight, she's wearing a white strapless dress that makes her long legs look extremely gorgeous, we arrive at her dorm room, feeling a little tipsy, her roommate was staying out in her boyfriend's apartment. As soon as we get in, we do what we have been trying to hold for the entire night, we slam onto the wall and kiss so hard and hot, all at the same time. My hands are touching her body,all over her legs, I carry her from the waist and start kissing her, as soon as we arrive to the bed I lay her carefully, and I take off my shirt and shoes, she starts to unzip my pants and in a matter of time she's helping me down there, she's giving me the most amazing oral we have done in months, I've missed her, I've missed this. I stop her so I could take her dress off, she is wearing white lingerie and my jaw just fell off, she looks so hot, I'm such a lucky guy. I take her panties off with my mouth as I passed through her legs, I spread her legs and start to suck inside of her entrance. She moans really loudly.

"Don't be such a tease and fuck me already!" Those words coming out of her mouth were music to my ears,I grab my wallet and look for condoms, I can't find any.

"I'm on the pill, do not worry" I sigh with relief and enter her, she moans in pleasure, I thrust and she keeps moving her hips with the same rhythm. She digs her nails on my back further as I keep thrusting harder and harder.

 **-End of flashback-**

Spencer interrupted my thoughts with gagging, I'm freaking out I can't stand her looking like this, she's so pale, her eyes are bloodshot red and it's just not the Spence I know. She seems weak, and she's the strongest person I've ever known.

"Toby?" she stands up and I keep staring at the floor.

"Tobyy!" I raise my sight with tears in my eyes, she holds my face with both of her hands and suddenly feels sorry, she shouldn't be, I'm the one that did that to her… I walk out of the bathroom and wait for her in bed, I change to my pajamas, feeling like shit, these next months are not going to be easy and I need to find a place to stay. She brushes her teeth and joins me in bed. I'm facing her back, I hug her from behind and start kissing her neck, she stops me, feeling uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry.." I say totally regretting what I just did. I stand and cook her something because it's 1 AM and I'm pretty sure I heard her stomach growl. I walk inside of the bedroom and give her macaroni and cheese. she's up late because she's watching Fight Club (for the millionth time) She chuckles and tries to fake a smile,

"I'm sorry but I'm not hungry Toby."

I smile at the simple thought that she's wearing one of my shirts as her pajamas but my smile fades as I hear that.

"No Spencer, you are not doing this, you're growing a baby inside! OUR baby, can you please worry about feeding both of you!."

"Don't you dare to call it a baby because I'm not keeping it." My face is red in anger now, Without noticing I was frowning the entire time.

"Excuse me? it's our baby.. not just yours." I tried to fight her but I know that I am in disadvantage, she's the one that has to hold our baby inside of her.

"I'M NOT KEEPING IT TOBY!" Those words feel like bullets onto my chest. I grab a t-shirt and my backpack and walk through the door at the same time I was putting my shirt on

"Toby, I'm sorry.." I don't even turn, I don't want to be an ass but I don't want her to stare at me, I'm not feeling alright and I don't want to react any different when I'm near her. I slam the door and go to my truck, trying to find somewhere to stay ; I scream, all that I've been holding, I let it out. Inside of my car, I start punching my steering wheel.

 **Spencer's POV**

"Toby, I'm sorry.." I say, regretting what I just said, I don't have to be rude, these pregnancy hormones are really making me a total bitch. He starts grabbing his stuff, and putting his shirt on, I stand there emotionless , he has never done that, is he leaving me? Maybe I went too far, maybe I should have said it when he was calmed, we should have discussed tha- NO I'm not keeping this… I have goals, I have a career, he has a job, he has dreams. My thoughts got interrupted as he slams the door. I lay in bed not knowing what to do anymore, I know I went too far on him but I'm Spencer Hastings and I don't even hesitate my actions.

I grab my anxiety pills, shaking, I'm shaking so hard, I take 2, because I really want to get some sleep. I lay on my bed and minutes passed, I woke up by someone throwing a pillow at me.

"Wake up, Spence! what's wrong with you? You missed the first 2 classes.." Lindsay says, my annoying roommate that I casually love, I open my eyes and grab my phone, It's 11:26AM.

"Are you alright? What happened to you?" She's concerned, she sits on my bed.

"I… fucked up really bad…" I start to cry, I normally don't cry infront of everyone but Toby but I have no Toby now, Lindsay stares at me in shock because she hasn't seen me cry, ever. She hugs me and I cry on her shoulder for like 15 minutes, my tears keep flooding my face. Someone knocks at the door and Lindsay stands up, opens and Toby's standing there with a sad face.

"Don't you dare to come in here." Lindsay says mad, I don't even know how she knows that i've been crying about him, I haven't said a word since. She almost slams the door on his face, he stops the door and comes in.

"Toby, I'm sorry" he tried to apologize first but I cut him off, he smiles and hugs me so tight.

"You don't ever have to be sorry with me… but I really do need to talk about it with someone okay?" I nod and suddenly feel a little dizzy. Lindsay fakes gagging sounds,

"Stop it you two guys, you are disgusting, I don't even want to imagine how corny you are in bed." We both laugh, he's holding me in his arms, as he always does.

"Oh, and Toby; just for the record if you ever stop my slamming doors, I will hurt you." He laughs.

"I'm sorry Linds…" Toby says, I suddenly feel really really bad cramps, I hold my stomach and start to say out loud.

"UGH fuck!" Toby stands there speechless.

"What's wrong? Spence?" The pain is unbearable and I start to see black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Happy Pretty Little Liars Day People! I'm so excited and I'm also updating this because, it's PLL Day and I'm happy. I hope you enjoy!**

 **Toby's POV**

"UGH fuck!" Spencer screams out in pain,I don't know what should I do, she keeps holding her stomach and I'm in shock I mean I'm aware of the situation but my body could not move.

"What's wrong? Spence?" I start to see her eyes rolling and I react instantly almost without noticing, I hold her before she actually falls onto the floor. I stare at Lindsay not knowing what to do, I'm having a panic attack.

"WHAT DID JUST HAPPEN?" Lindsay is covering her mouth because of the shock.

"DO SOMETHING LINDS! OPEN THE DOOR NOW!" Lindsay quickly runs and opens the door, I run to my car while she's trying to catch me with Spencer's coat and shoes. She opens the door of my truck, I put Spencer carefully in the backseat and quickly drive to the nearest hospital, my hands are shaking.

"TOBY! CALM DOWN! If you shake like that, you're going to get us all killed and we will be joining Spencer in the ER!"

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" think Toby, why would she be like that?

"Linds does Spencer take pills when she's anxious?!" She looks confused.

"She only takes pills when she's cramping, she has been taking them a lot lately.. She says it helps her pain go away" I'm furious, anger rises through me.

"Spencer hasn't had her period in like 3 months."

"Wait, What?!

YOU GOT HER PREGNANT?" We arrive at the nearest hospital, I don't even bother to park, I just get out and carry Spencer as fast as I could. We get into the emergency entry and nurses are asking what happened.

"S-she blacked out, she's pregnant and she has been taking anxiety pills, a lot."

The nurses take her away from me and keep telling me that I should wait outside. I walk back to my truck and feel sad, because of the thought that they just took her away from me. I just noticed Lindsay is still sitting there.

"I'm sorry about what happened Toby…" She feels sorry as she sees the sadness on my face. I just nod.

Hours has passed after the incident and I'm walking around the waiting room, I keep asking the nurses that pass by when can I see her or what's wrong with her. Lindsay tells me to sit, I sit but still shake my leg. A doctor comes in and I hope that it's Spencer's doctor.

"Are you Spencer Hastings' relatives?" I almost say no but stay quiet,

"She's my sister, what happened?" Lindsay speaks up quickly.

"We were forced to do a gastric lavage due to the amount of pills. It's no harm before the second trimester of pregnancy."

"So she's okay? The baby's okay?!" My face lit up as I listened to his words.

"She's okay, but it was a real harm for the embryo to take those pills without a medical prescription. Some antidepressants are considered a huge harm and the pills she was taking were considered benzodiazepines, we noticed the embryo had some problems but right now is stable, she can go home but we really need her to relax and do not stress…"

After the doctor said that Spencer and our baby were stable I couldn't hear anything anymore, I feel so relieved, all of my worries went away as I kept repeating that thought in my head.

I walk inside of her hospital room, I see her smiling at me and happiness and relief invaded my entire body. I rush to hug her really carefully, Lindsay also comes in and says;

"Menstrual pills? Seriously? if you ever lie to me again, i will kill you Spence. You scared the shit out of me." she laughs,

"I'm sorry, I seriously am, both of you.." I shut her up by kissing while Lindsay makes gagging sounds.

"Alright alright, lovebirds; don't you dare to make out in my face. I should get going after you both fuck in that bed… I'm really happy you're okay Spence, but don't ever scare us that way, ever again." She hugs Spencer.

"I won't Linds, thank you.." She whispers in my ear after she walks out

"Take care of her.." Spencer looks at me broken.

"I'm so-" I shushed her before she could make an apology.

"Don't worry about it.."

"Are you mad Toby?"

"Mad? MAD? I'm frightened! Spencer I almost lost you today, you passed out in my arms… I almost lost you… I almost di-" She cuts me off by kissing me, a really deep and hot kiss.

 **Spencer's POV**

I couldn't stand his dissapointed and sad face, I kiss him ,such a hot kiss… NO! What? Spencer! you are pregnant! I haven't even asked him about that, I'm scared, I will try to avoid it for now..

My stress relieves as I keep kissing him, i miss him. I hold him by the shirt so he can put on top of me on the bed, he hesitates; mostly because I look fragile right now. I don't want to look fragile.

"Spencer don't…."

"Please" I keep kissing him in the neck just like he adores. I take his shirt off and he keeps kissing me. I moan as I want him inside of me right now. The door flies open and I push him out of the bed. He falls and we both start laughing so hard. The doctor is shocked,

"Spencer… please save it for tonight, not here, that's kind of disgusting."

Toby stands with half of his shirt on, his cheeks are bright red.

"Spencer you are free to go, or you can stay the night, it's up to you.."

"I want to go home!" He laughs, while he comes to disconnect the iv that is plugged on my arm. Toby seems pretty excited too, as soon as I'm ready to go he holds me close, as we used to do back in high school, when he traveled for days, we will hug for minutes, in the middle of the street, at high school's entry, on my porch, when he walked me home. I hold his jaw and kiss him.

As soon as we arrive home I kiss him on the door, I throw him in bed as fast as I could, his hands on my thighs while he was driving were such a turn on. God why am I so horny?

"Spencer, slow down… what if we hurt our baby…" I stand speechless.

"what?"

"Yes Spencer, you harmed our baby, but it's okay now." He sits on my side and looks pretty confused.

"Can we please stop talking about that.." He stands,

"When are we going to talk about it?" He slows down as I started to panic,

"I'm sorry Spence, I'm not allowed to stress you… I'm sorry okay? I just want you to think about it, keeping it will be the best decision we will ever make."

"I will think about it Toby, please calm down.." I say looking at the floor ashamed.

"You promise?" I nod and he hugs me tightly.

"Tobes?" I whispered in his ear

"Yes?"

"I heard sex helps with stress.. If you want to make it up for me..." He laughs,

"I don't know Spencer.." I frown and grab something from my drawer, I walk inside of the bathroom and shower, change into a black lingerie I have wanted to use for him a long time ago, I put my hair up in a ponytail and go out, Toby's eyes pop open.

"Would you give it a try?" He laughs and shakes his head.

"Please Toby," I lay in bed with him and kiss him roughly, he kisses back.

"Spencer, I don't want to hurt y-" I kiss him to shut him up, he starts to run his hands down my legs taking off my panties, then my entrance, he introduces 2 fingers slowly,

"Ahh you're a tease! fuck" He starts to push them further. I kiss him while I bring his pants down in a rush.

"Slow down.." He's kissing me so slowly, I take his shirt off and grab his abs, I kiss him and suddenly feel him inside of me, totally took me by surprise, he starts thrusting harder and harder.

"AHHHHH Fuck" I love this, We haven't done it in like 2 months, i missed this. We start to sweat, he keeps thrusting and thrusting and grabbing my breasts as my moans grow louder and louder.

"Fuck, Spence you're so tight!" My walls exploded around him as we both came together, he pulls out and lays beside me, holding me; we're facing each other.

"I love you." he mutters and i smile.

"i love you too, and im really sorry Tobes." he smiles and holds me till i fall asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi my beautiful readers, im really sorry i haven't updated, i don't have enough time; im as frustrated as Spencer was in season 1, i'm overwhelmed with homework, anyway enjoy and take your time to review i want to know if you guys are liking this story, shall i continue or start another one? Happy PLL Day! I know this is a boring chapter but the next one will be sad I promise, it couldnt happen so quickly. lol**

I wake up by the light that gets into my room through the window, i hear the birds outside and I just smile at the thought of last night, it happened so fast, i wouldn't even call it making love, we just fucked… hard. And i'm not going to deny it, it was pretty amazing. I smile feeling my body completely naked underneath the thin sheets, Toby is snoring so softly, I barely notice, I put my body over him, we're both trapped underneath the covers. I leave kisses all around his neck and jaw and just when i was about to kiss his lips i feel his lips smile between the kiss. He suddenly traps me with both of his arms hugging me so tightly.

"Let me go! Tobes!" i try to fight my way out of his embrace knowing what he's about to do, he starts tickling my sides and my giggles were so noisy I swear I woke my entire dorm room.

He stops as I start having struggle to breathe. he lets go and stands, putting his pajama pants on.

"May I ask what are your pregnant hormones craving now?" I frown.

"Well you are lucky, your girlfriend is not like all girls, and i'm not craving anything." his smile drops.

"Oh come on, does little Spence does not want any yummy food?" He starts to baby talk and I get pissed, he pouts like a baby.

"Should I remind you that we haven't made our minds yet? and she's not even a girl, how would you know that?!" His eyes changed, suddenly he looks kind of disappointed , and sad about what i said. He sits on the corner of our bed looking down,

"I'm trying Spence, I really am but your thoughts and mind are so closed about this..." he does not look at me at all, I can't make eye contact and I can't understand how is he feeling.

"I'm sorry, but I haven't made my mind up yet" I try to ease the situation and his anger.

"Then if you don't know about it, don't talk like you have made your own decision, this is a ride we're both willing to take together at least that was what I thought, but you're just taking it by yourself…" I sit down so I can face him and he looks at me with puppy eyes. I nod.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to talk about this right now.." I sigh and he stops complaining.

"I'm sorry too," he puts his embrace around my waist and kisses me softly, I kiss him back so slowly and we both lay in bed, he hugs me from behind and puts my hair aside, sinking his nose in my neck, I close my eyes and I'm pretty sure he does the same thing.

"Spence?" he mumbles some words

"Yes?"

"I'm scared.." I turn around so I can face him. He cups my cheek with his warm hand and I smile.

"don't be, okay?" he nods.

 ***Start of Flashback***

"Are you sure?" Toby asks concerned and I nod, pretty sure of what's going to happen now. He starts kissing me softly, he carries me carefully to bed, and he stops the kiss so I could take his shirt off, I start kissing his neck and he pushes me to bed, we both lay and he starts unbuttoning my blouse. I smile at him and kiss him as he keeps unbuttoning all the way down.

"I'm scared.." I kind of stop him, he smiles and looks deep into my eyes.

"Don't be, okay?" I smile and nod, my blouse and his pants were thrown to the floor first.

"You're beautiful." He smiles staring at me in just a bra and my pants. I blush, he starts kissing me and unbuttoning my jeans, he slowly pulls them off my legs so tenderly. Both of us are naked now, underneath the covers, as we kiss he holds my back as he always does, he's still looking at my eyes searching for any doubt, he won't find any. He introduces himself slowly inside of me for the first time and I wince at the pain, I hold onto the sheets tight. His eyes are full with concern and he does not move at all, I cup my hand on his cheek and nod , he kisses me and thrusts again, increasing his pace while the pain starts to feel pleasurable. I am making love to the person who truly knows me, who truly loves me. He thrusts slow inside of me and I'm starting to enjoy every bit of him, every bit of it, it's lust. I love the thought that I cannot get any closer than this. I can't help it but tangle my fingers in his hair as he keeps thrusting and kissing my neck, making me reach a whole new level of ecstasy I have never felt. My lower stomach aches a little and my toes are numb. After that, we lay in bed before he has to go and just stay quiet, enjoying the silence, the moment, enjoying every piece of the day. The warmth of our bodies together is so comforting.

 ***End of Flashback***

"Spencer? were you having a nightmare?" He wakes me up as soon as he sees me like this, I did not notice but now the tears on my eyes.

"No, It was a really good dream.." I smile and he kisses me softly.

"What was that dream about?" I hide a huge grin.

"I'm not telling… " I wink and he wipes my tears away with the pad of his thumb.

"I bet it was about me then" I laugh,

"Well, if it was or not; You will never know!" We both laugh and then he frowns.

"Spencer, let's get dressed and go for something to eat, okay? You're so pale, are you sure you're feeling okay?" I nod.

"Yeah, of course let me get showered, really fast." He groans.

 **Toby's POV**

Spencer sometimes worries me, I don't think the pregnancy is doing so well for her, she's pale and she looks kind of sick I'm so concerned about her, while she takes ages to get ready I change into some black skinny jeans and a white shirt that feels a little tight around my arms. I try to tidy up her room and grab the fallen clothes of yesterday. I start putting everything in place, and look into Spencer's drawer, she has the necklace I gave to her like 4 years ago with the S of Scrabble on it. I smile at the memory of those times, when we were chased by A and it was our only worry in the world, now we're grown adults and there are bigger problems, I grab Spencer's computer so I could check on Facebook or maybe watch Netflix, but the first tabs that pop up are some sites where you sign up for an abortion treatment, my heart literally falls when I read that. I don't know anymore how to change her mind about it. I am upset and angry because she hasn't told me anything at all. I look down her network history, I shouldn't do this, I know but I'm desperate. She searched for some symptoms too. I close the laptop so I can stop watching that, it scares me, just the simple thought scares me. She gets out of the bathroom just wearing a towel around her body and I wait for her to get ready. My head is aching I shouldn't have done that and now I will have to go on with the fault on my back. I'm not going to say a word about it, I will wait for her to tell me.

We decide to go for Sushi, I drive out of Spencer's University.

As we are in the car we both fight for the music. The music is the only extreme difference between us.

"Oh come on Spence, I want Bon Jovi.." She frowns,

"No; I want Lana del Rey, her music is hot and perfect for us." I roll my eyes as she puts on her Born to Die Paradise Edition Album.

"Tobias did you just roll your eyes at me?" I shake my head as I say;

"Yes." She laughs, and then her face changes in a second.

"If you ever roll your eyes again at your beautiful and hormonal girlfriend, she will kick that ass of yours." I nod and she laughs out loud. When 'Ride' starts she let out a moan. God is so fascinating how she loves alternative music, she literally connects herself with it.

"You're so beautiful." I say as she keeps singing the lyrics, she ignores me because she has been singing since the beginning and she does not want to stop. I try to tease her.

"So, sooooo beautiful, and perfect." She keeps ignoring me.

"DON'T BREAK ME DOOOOOOOOOOOOWN" I sing off key on purpose, she stops her singing because of her laugh and covers her face.

"NOOO!" She frowns and cracks up.

"That's what you get, when you ignore that perfect boyfriend of yours!" She laughs.

"You are perfect." She smiles and kisses my cheek. I stop in the middle of the highway and park the car out of the road.

"What happened?" She asks concerned.

"We ran out of gas." She fake gasps, noticing that the tank is full.

"Oh no! what should we do about it?" She leans in to kiss me in a hurry and sits on my lap, spreading her legs, she's wearing a skirt and she's a total tease. ahhhh The bulge in my pants is starting to grow.

"We should really do something, or we will get bored in the middle of nowhere!" she puts her sexy voice on. and I can't help it, she undoes my belt and unzips my jeans.

"god I want you Toby.." I have never liked quickies before, i love to make love in my own bed, but right now Spencer's making me insane. She puts her skirt up and her panties aside, and I start to thrust hard and fast. I feel her sweating and screaming/moaning

"god Tobyyy, i love that," I love the way she says my name between moans is the hottest thing ever, we both layed on the seats totally uncomfortable and start fucking so pleasurable and hot. After minutes we stop when we see more cars passing by, she's over me, shirtless and with her skirt up.

"God Toby I don't think I will ever stop doing this. You're so good at what you do." She kisses me hard, this girl of mine is crazy, I laugh.

"I love you, dummy." She smiles at my words.

"ew you're so cheesy." she laughs.

"but I love you too Toby and there's something I need to tell you.." she pecks my lips. And my worry came back as soon as I remember what I saw on her laptop an hour ago. I don't wanna hear this.

"Toby I…"

 **Thank you guys, please review i love you all, i love rollins i hated that there were no spoby scenes, kiss or sex in 6x20 im so mad and i hate the entire world, i had hope but hope breeds eternal misery, Spencer was right the entire time.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Spencer's POV**

"Toby I can't do this… I want to go away, where my mistakes can't hurt the people I love, this is making all of my purposes in life start from the beginning again and I'm scared.. A kid is like a mirror where I will see myself everyday." He stares at me and i'm pretty sure his mind is rambling. He holds my stomach and puts his hands over making us feel protected.

"In here lie a heart, that heartbeat is a mix of our heartbeats, I'm not letting you call that a mistake." I have an enormous desire to kiss him, not wild, just kiss him sweetly until it bursts my thoughts and all of my worries go away, should I keep this baby? I'm not being fair to Toby and I know that.. I grab his chin and my other hand plays with his hair, my fingers tangle and I kiss him, it makes me feel happy. I wanna make him happy.

"I'm keeping it." His eyes lit up and his happiness start to show with tears.

"I love you Spence."

"We will do this." He nods,

"Of course we will, and I will be more than supportive, okay?" I stare at him with puppy eyes.

"You promise?" He kisses my forehead and hugs me tightly, he whispers

"I promise. There is always more to discover in life, Spence." I put my fingers between his and caress them so softly as I always do when I'm greatful.

 **Toby's POV**

We finish our Saturday on the couch, Spencer was craving donuts an hour ago, she already ate 2, she has her third chocolate donut with sprinkles on her hand, I'm trying to pick a movie that we both like, which is the most difficult thing to do. She's walking around the dorm with a messy bun and no make-up on her face, she looks extremely beautiful to me, she's only wearing underwear and one of my shirts and she's dancing and spinning around.

"Spence, shall we watch Gone Girl?" Her eyes get all shiny like a kid with candies.

"YES YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS" I put on Netflix the film that she has watched like 20 times.

And we just cuddle, I try taking a bite of her donut, since she ate mine but she won't let me, she will frown and pout when i try eating it instead. The movie is pretty long, I know that, but I'm really tired so I just fell asleep with her on my arms, with our legs resting on the coffee table in front of the couch. I close my eyes for seconds, it felt like seconds and then she suddenly rushes out of my hand and inside the bathroom because of her morning sickness, I run beside her as soon as I wake up and soothe her back while she throws up inside of the toilet, i hold her hair up and she seems kind of mad.

"It's okay, Spence; I'm here, okay?"

"YES I KNOW! But it's just so tiring… I feel tired the entire day.." I smile,

"It's okay to feel that way in fact i will be the one dealing with you both when she arrives. God Spencer I'm so excited for this." I look at my watch and it's 2:23 Am. She brushes her teeth quickly.

"Come on let's go to bed.." I carry her over one shoulder and I could face her butt. I hold it tightly to mess with her and she laughs.

"No Toby, bad boy…" I laugh when we both arrive to bed we don't even bother to get inside the sheets, we fall asleep as soon as we lay.

I wake up facing a sleepy Spencer, I'm happy I got to wake up before her, i love to watch her sleep; for someone so strong in life she looks so breakable when she's asleep, and I'm just the only one that has seen her like that. I love every inch of her, her small smile that she usually puts when she's dreaming something nice, like those weird dreams we used to have and talked about for hours, where she flies and she cannot stop. I'm really concerned about Spencer and how are we going to tell her parents. For me this girl has always being perfect, everything about her but her parents will always prefer Melissa instead, I don't think they will be mad maybe, they will care about Spencer now. I love her, and she deserves the best, I want to give her the best. It's Sunday morning and she's still asleep, her messy bun now is a total curly mess. She yawns and opens her eyes slowly.

"Hiii" she's being sassy, she smiles.

"Goodmorning Spence, or shall I say sleeping beauty?"

"Ew no." We both laugh, I get out of bed and put some jeans on.

"What do you want for breakfast?" She smiles but that's a complete tease.

"You see Toby, I'm hungry for something else," she says spreading her legs.

"Spencer, I'm getting tired of just fucking…" Her face falls completely

"W-what?"

"I mean, I want to make love, like we used to when we were younger, not fuck hard, I think you have been reading enough of the Fifty Shades of Grey Saga…"

"Toby don't be so dramatic… and don't ever mess with Christian Grey." I throw a pillow at her and she falls dramatically.

"Tobias did you seriously throw a pillow at your pregnant girlfriend?" I gasp.

"I did?" I lay over her and start kissing her, she's trapped under my body.

"I love you." I take my shirt off her and see her breasts, my mouth fell open, they're extremely huge,she laughs.

"You look like a 14 year old just discovered a playboy magazine." I laugh and kick my jeans off.

"Miss, you better shut your mouth or I will make you regret it." I missed this, i missed joking with her while having sex, it's so relaxing. She pushes her panties down slowly and spreads her legs, hugging my waist with them. I introduce my member inside of her slowly and she digs her nails on my back. I always know how soft I have to go in the first thrust because it's painful for her, she feels so tight i try to thrust harder and faster to ease her. We kiss at the same rhythm I get inside of her and she starts kissing my neck when I come into her.

After we make love for like an hour or two we both feel extremely exhausted, rounds passed and now we're both trying to catch our breaths. Someone's knocking at the door. I put my pajama pants on as I lay Spencer and cover her with the sheets. I open the door and I stand there looking like an idiot.

"Toby?" Veronica says standing there with Peter, this does not look good..

"Where's Spencer?" Peter says getting in, Spencer is naked under the covers, in a deep sleep in her bed, I blush.

"Put a shirt on, Toby we're going to get lunch with Melissa and Spencer."

"Spencer.." I try to wake her up.

"Mmmmm that was exhausting as fuck, I am sore now, because of that hug-" Her eyes were still closed. I scream:

"Spencer."

"Goodmorning Spencer." Her eyes pop open when she hears her dad's voice.

"H-hi dad…"

After we finally get ready, Spencer's parents drive us to a fancy restaurant and there Melissa was already there. I don't like her at all, I am the only one that knows how Spencer felt through her entire high school days being shaded by her older sister, she used to get depressed because of that.

We all sit down and wait for our food, Spencer starts talking about how well she ended her first year at college, her parents and sister were happy about her, I don't know if she's going to talk about the pregnancy today, maybe she's not ready. I start to play with her legs under the table, when I put a finger inside to tease her, she kicks me really hard and I start to laugh. She fake smiles and then glares at me, I should stop joking now. I take a sip of the wine to stop from laughing. Melissa starts talking about being glad that we're all here together, that she's glad Spencer and I are still together and that she's going great so far, I stop listening to her and I start changing looks with Spencer.

"I'm pregnant." I choke on my sip of wine. For a second I thought Spencer was the one who said that, then I stared at her and she looks sad and panicked, once again shaded by her own sister.

"Congrats." She just says and walks away, out of the restaurant.

"Spencer what's wrong with y-" Melissa says but I stopped listening so I could just run after the love of my life who is now heartbroken.

I try to find her but I can't find her anywhere now, I look everywhere for her and I see her sitting with her blue dress and black high heels, her brown curls are falling down her shoulders so naturally but her black make up is running down her face. I sit with her.

"How are you feeling?" I try to grab her hand, but she has her hand over her stomach.

"What's wrong Spence?"

"SHE'S ALWAYS DOING THAT!" She grabs her stomach harder.

"Are you in pain? Please stop crying.." I hold her.

"Why do I always have to be her shade? I thought my parents would be happy for me but I didn't even got the chance to say it." She says crying harder and holding her stomach again, I have never seen her so broken before, not even when we found out she was pregnant.

"I know Spencer, I have always been there, remember? and there's no better person that could understand you but me. Trust me."

"I'm never good enough for them."

"Stop saying that, You will always be perfect for me."

"Toby.." She chokes on her tears and hugs me tight.

"It's okay to cry Spencer," I soothe her back, and see her last bit of hope with her parents vanish.

"Hope breeds eternal misery Toby." I try to clean the black make up out of her face with the pad of my thumb. I kiss her to take her pain away, that's what my mother used to do, she used to face me and put her forehead over mine. She started saying "Please take the pain away from him" and my pain will ease.

"Please take the pain away from her." She smiles and wipes a tear away. She looks deeply into my eyes.

"Thank you Toby, I never had the chance to say that, until now; thank you for seeing me broken and instead of going away; staying with me and try to ease my pain."

 **Thank you for reading! this is my favorite chapter so far, it has so much meaning, also the forehead thing toby's mother used to do is something my mommy does when i'm depressed. I love her so much. I really hope to get more reviews so I can update, hope you like it guys. And I really hope this fanfic is a way of surviving the hiatus.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I really need to apologise for the late update, i will be on frequently now, i had some personal stuff guys, and I'm really sorry about it, actually i have been writing this chapter for 2 weeks now,also I have been reading twilight for the fifth time and there might be some references hehe, hope you enjoy my beautiful readers.**

 **Toby's POV**

After lunch happened Spencer isn't feeling well. She wanted to walk and we ended up walking miles and miles, she took her heels off like 20 minutes ago, and we have been walking since.

"How are we going to name her?" I ask excited at the thought

"I want a boy. I want him to be like his dad, with a six pack." I laugh

"Very funny, Spence; I want a girl! So I could scare all the boys she brings home when she's older, pretty much like your dad used to scare the hell out of me." She laughs.

 ***Start of flashback***

I hear the door but i try to ignore it because Spencer is on the living room, i'm trying to get the hot water of the shower, but it seems it's malfunctioning again, I hit it because of desperation, and suddenly the hot water started running, YES! now I really do hope to enjoy the shower with Spencer, we have had shower sex before and it's one of her favorites. With the steam everything it's hotter and sexier, we both sweat a lot while doing it and her body while she's standing it's so hot.

I hear Spencer talking louder than she does , I go out so she can join me in the shower, I really miss her even though we have been awake the entire night…

"Hey Spence, I got the hot water working!" As soon as I walk inside of the living room I stand there speechless when I see her dad. I thank to god I decided to wear a towel around my waist. Peter looks at me, he must be pretty pissed just the thought of Spencer sleeping with a guy, must feel awful, I will be so jealous with my daughter.

"Put some pants on. We need to talk about Radley." Spencer runs inside of my room because she is wearing just my shirt and nothing underneath. I gulp and he stands closer.

"If Spencer ever lies to me again in saying she's sleeping with a friend, I will harm you, Toby." I stare at him trying not to look so scared.

"Yes, sir."

"And use protection. we will talk about Radley later… I'm not in the mood to deal with you two..." He stormed out of my apartment. I start laughing out loud because of my nerves, Spencer comes back in and is angry.

"Don't laugh! He scared the hell out of me!" I laugh harder and she kisses me to shut me up. She suddenly pushes me and i fall over the couch, she kisses me hard and rough.

"Spen-" She takes my shirt off her body and kisses my abs, my mouth starts to make some weird noises. I keep kissing her until I get hard just from kissing. She smiles at the thought, her hand is over my groin and it's not helping. It keeps growing and growing, she then unwraps the towel around me and jumps over my member.

"God.. Spencer" She starts moaning and jumping, literally riding me.

"Mmmmmm, fuck y-" I start kissing her interrupting her moans

 ***End of flashback***

She starts to walk slower,as I keep telling her what her dad said to me years ago, and I didn't even notice she stopped walking. I run back to her.

"What's wrong love?"

"I'm dizzy Toby.." My eyes are now full of concern, we arrive to a park and I carry her bridal style to a bench.

"Put your head between your knees." I try helping her, she did what i told her to.

"Breathe in and out." She breathes slowly and manages to calm down, after minutes we both stay quiet for a while. She raises her head and that wasn't a pretty good idea.

"AHH fuck.."

"It's okay Spencer, you shouldn't have done that though.." I laugh a little just to make her laugh.

"You idiot, never told me!" Her face is paler than usual.

"Try closing your eyes.." I close my eyes with her,and press my face against her hair, keep holding her and sniffing a mix of coffee and vanilla scent. God I've missed her scent, her kisses, I've missed her. Living in another state is completely fucked up.

"Open your eyes, Spence.." She opens her eyes and I greet her with a soft kiss, she smiles between our kiss and we both laugh hugging each other like we used to do when we were in high school.

It's 6pm on a Sunday and we're now lying on the couch of her dorm. Lindsay comes in.

"HI, OH BUT LOOK AT THAT MY FAVORITE OTP IS NOT FUCKING!" We both laugh.

"Come on Linds.. you have never seen us." She laughs out loud.

"You underestimate me girl.." My face is red because of humiliation at just the thought of someone seeing us having sex.

"Everything alright?" Lindsay asks when she sees her swollen eyes.

"Yes." she answers and smiles, I stare at Spencer and then at Lindsay who is now glaring at me. Spencer's still feeling was still feeling a little emotional because of her parents but now her emotions are blocked, she's blocking everyone who is concerned about her.

 **Spencer's POV**

"Linds can i talk to you alone?" She nods and we go to the kitchen.

"What's wrong you idiot, why have you been crying?" She frowns.

"I kind of got mad with my parents.. because they're morons." she cut me off

"You shouldn't stress at all, Spencer." She frowns.

"I know. and I'm sorry, I want to tell my best friends that I'm pregnant but my parents don't know." She laughs,

"Post it on facebook and block your parents." I glare at her and smack her head.

"Idiot."

"I can make the reunion, though, I really liked Hanna!"

"I want the reunion to be a surprise for Toby, he hasn't seen them for a while now.. all of them together."

2 weeks passed and I have been assisting to my classes, they have been pretty hard to pass, but i do pass, I'm just not so focused on that now. Toby waits for me everyday, he has requested vacations on his job just to take care of me. He left for a week and came back to stay, he really is staying.. Today is the day Linds reunites all of my friends in some fancy restaurant on a club. I meet Toby and ask him if we could go on a date. He smiles.

"I would love to go on a date with you, where to?"

"Just dress fancy I will surprise you." I wink, he laughs.

"Well that's hot.. you can't even wink…" He imitates my attempt of wink and I pout.

"shut up." We lay on bed to rest before we get ready and he puts his hand over my tummy. He has been doing that for a while now, and I love it, our baby seems to comfort when he touches me." He goes down and faces my tummy.

"Hi beautiful girl, how are you feeling today?

"HE'S A BOY."

"Don't listen to mommy, she's moody and I love her, she's my safe place to land you know that? **that's why I want her to marry me**.."

"wh-what?"

I suddenly feel the strangest move ever inside of my tummy, i don't have the biggest tummy, because I am skinny already but I swear something moved inside of me.

"Did she just moved?" He asks and smiles

"TOBY! WHAT?"

He puts on one knee and takes out a box with an engagement ring. I cover my mouth in surprise.

"Spencer, I have loved you since forever, we have been through heaven and hell together and I want you to be a part of my life, i promise that we will make a family together, that we'll both wake up every morning facing each other, i promise to make you the happiest girl on earth, would you marry me?"

I start crying, so so hard and he stands and kisses me I give him my hand and he slides the ring on my finger, it fits perfectly.

"YES!" he hugs me tightly and carries me, spinning me around. We kiss so sweet and full of love. He holds my stomach still surprised because the baby just moved for the first time.

We decide to shower together so we won't take that long, what we don't know is that we're going to take forever in that shower.

As I go inside and he stands beside me I could feel the hot steam and instantly turn on, he start massaging my back as he always did when we were teenagers and I was stressing over nonsense now. He starts kissing my neck and suddenly he's inside. I moan loudly and put my hands on the wall, I spread my legs and he thrusts harder and harder inside. I turn and kiss him, he carries me and I wrap my legs over his waist as he keeps thrusting inside, this is heaven, mmm fuck.

After half an hour we both manage to get out of the shower and throw our wet bodies over the bed, finishing what we started. I glanced on the digital clock besides my bed and stop.

"shit, we need to hurry up.." I walk to my underwear drawer and put on some blue panties, i'm not wearing a bra because this dress is already too tight. I put on a tight black dress and my belly is showing a little bit, i'm really happy and proud of it. I put on some heavy make up and stare at Toby wearing a light blue shirt and pants, his hair is so short and I love that, he looks so hot with it. I ask him to zip my dress up. He does as he's told and kisses my back, up and up, then I turn and kiss him harder.

We get into my car but he drives, i suddenly feel the baby moving, it's kind of painful now. I grab my tummy and he holds me.

"What's wrong?"

"this little boy is kicking too hard.."

"Do you want me to stop? we could go home…"

"No, of course not, drive." He smiles and puts his hands over my lap.

"Toby,I just noticed the shower sex is the first one we ever had being engaged. That's wild." I say,He laughs.

"You're wild…" He grabs my curls falling down my ponytail, still focusing on the road.

"I want to call him Christian.."

"No, Spencer I'm not calling HER after an erotic book you loved, he's a she! " I laugh out loud,

"Kidding...I'm the mother, I can feel a boy." he makes a weird face.

"I really want to call her Abigail, I have always loved that name." I nod

"Alright, that's a pretty name, BUT WE CAN'T CALL HIM ABIGAIL!"

"sorry.." he regrets because he sees me stressed. I breathe out, the hormones are driving me insane and i'm making him feel bad. We both stay quiet, but he keeps holding my lap and grabbing my hand to kiss it, he holds my ring finger and says.

"I'm not letting you alone." I nod and hold my tears because it would ruin my make up, I smile. When we arrive I put my hands over his eyes covering him from any view, I can't help it but the baby keeps moving it hurts even more now. When we arrive to the table I smile when I see my entire gang all together, but their excitement was just shown on their faces, they could not make much noise, I uncover his eyes and he seems so happy.

"Oh god guys! It has been a while!" We both greet everyone and we sit, everyone orders. Toby grabs my hand and speaks up.

"We have an announcement everyone, thank you all for being here, we love you and….

... we're pregnant, and we're getting married! I love Spencer." Everyone gasps and congratulate us, the happiness on their faces make me feel alive again, I forgot how good it felt to spend time with my best friends all together. My stomach keeps hurting and i know Toby sees it in my face.

"Spence, what's wrong?" he whispers so nobody would notice,anyway everybody were talking about how Hanna and Caleb are still together, how Emily is doing in studying psychology, how Aria is writing her book, how Ezra broke up with Nicole. I stand up fast and run to the bathroom.

I am afraid… I am bleeding. Suddenly I hear someone comes inside and knocks on the door.

"Spence? are you alright? Toby sent me." I hear Emily.

"Uh… yeah.. i'm not sure."

"What happened?"

"Emily i'm bleeding…?"

"That's normal Spencer, maybe a little bleeding, it's alright.. when you're pregnant.." I walk out.

"Are you sure?" I'm shaking and i still don't notice until I see Emily watching my hands afraid. She holds me and tries to calm me down.

"Calm down, Spence, don't stress." I am tired of people telling me not to stress, I'm 110% more stressed when I'm pregnant. I nod.

"Okay.. I'm sorry.." She hugs me.

"You're going to be the best mommy Spencer." I nod and wipe a tear away, the pain starts to ease when she hugs me.

"Please don't tell Toby any of this.." She nods.

"Don't worry, Spence." We both walk out after fixing my make up and Toby is waiting for me, he smiles when he sees me.

"Are you feeling any better? too many kicks?" He holds my stomach and speaks up.

"Please baby girl, don't hurt mommy, we love you." The pain starts to fade away and he smiles when noticing it's working.

"God, love you're so pale.." I shake my head.

"I'm fine Tobes, I promise…"


	7. Chapter 7

**Enjoy this chapter! I love you all.**

 **Again sorry for the short chapter, next one will be better I promise. Also I'm sorry but the site sometimes eats my words so I will read it asap and try to fix it.**

 **to Sarah and Mellie, i love you both girls, thank you.**

 **Spencer's POV**

Emily stands up, it's 11:57pm.

"I want to make a toast! for both of my best friends! They have always been relationship goals, I have been a best friend to both and I've heard both sides of the story but I could affirm that they both love each other with such passion, it is incredible, the spark on Spencer's eyes when she talked about Toby, when Toby came home and cried for Spencer, whoops did I say that out loud?" Everyone stops Emily with laughing.

"Guys i'm not lying when I say that they both complete each other, before they met it seemed like they missed something. Maybe hope?" Everyone's eyes land on me.

"But Spencer this guy.." she holds Toby's shoulder.

"This guy gave you hope when you were about to surrender. Don't ever forget that."

I smile without noticing, I'm staring blank, I'm just thinking and accepting the facts, that is the truth, he gave me hope, when I most needed it.

"And Toby! this girl. Gave you happiness, gave you life, she gave you color, when your life was black & white." He smiled and kissed my cheek. he whispered an "I love you"

"Cheers, for this amazing couple! and the family that they're about to begin." Everyone raised their glass and clink their wine glasses.

Hanna, Aria and Em then surrounded me so I could tell the story of our first ultrasound.

"Does it hurt?" Hanna asks.

"The ultrasound? N-..."

"No, you idiot, having a baby inside, Can you imagine my beautiful niece will get out of your v-"

"Moving on!" Emily cuts Hanna out when she sees my concerned face. All the girls laughed out loud. I grab my tiny purse and show them the picture of the ultrasound.

"IS THAT HER?" Hanna says amazed, pointing to a random place

"No, Hanna! that's her…" Aria points to the baby.

"It's a him!" I fight it.

"No it's not, she will be aunt Hanna's favorite niece, right?" She baby talks to my stomach.

"I think you had enough wine, Han" Emily laughs out loud and tries separating Hanna from me.

 **Toby's POV**

"Toby! congratulations man, I want a beautiful nephew." Caleb says.

"Oh come on, with that father he will be a pretty face and will have a six pack so he's blessed." Ezra jokes and all of us laugh.

"My baby girl has to be like Spencer, except I'm hiding her the caffeine until she turns 35."

"Best idea you've ever had." Caleb says

"I can hear you all." Spencer says through the other side of the table and glares at us.

"I'm not saying anything babe…" I say, acting scared.

"Soooo, you don't have sex now?" Ezra asks.

"You have no idea, she wants sex the entire day." I whisper so Spencer and the ladies won't hear.

"What? That's not fair!" Ezra pouts.

 **Spencer's POV**

"Tell us Spence!" the girls say, I laugh and blush.

"Tell you what? oh my god…" I can't handle my laugh.

"Do you guys fuck the entire day now, does the baby feel?" Hanna asks a little enthusiastic.

"What the hell? HANNA! Moving On! I do…. and it's the most amazing sex, I can't stop." All of them laugh and Hanna makes a disgusted face.

The evening was too short for all the things that we tried catching up. I have been feeling like hell, don't misunderstand me, my night was the best but my stomach and back have been bugging.

When we arrive I'm feeling nauseous but I try to calm it by breathing slowly.

"I had the most amazing night" Toby says holding my lap and keeping his eyes on the road.

"I did too, all of our friends are incredible." I smile, not trying to complain.

"Are you sure you're alright?" I nod.

"Yes love." When we arrive Toby carries me to my room and bed, I'm now so tired, he lays me and gets me out of my dress, and shoes. I put on the first shirt I find of him and lay on bed with my eyes closed but still awake, waiting for him to come to bed so I could feel protected.

I suddenly feel his arms wrapping around my waist and his abs facing my back.

"I love you both." He whispers in my ears.

"Toby? Will you save me?"

"Wh-what?" he sounds confused.

"If I'm dying will you save me?"

"Don't even think about it, i won't doubt it any second Spencer." He holds me tightly.

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be, I love you." I smile.

"I love you too, my safe place to land."

"Goodnight, my once upon a time." He smirks at the thought of young and pure love.

 **Toby's POV**

I wake up by sobbings I see the empty side of the bed, and I run to the bathroom but Spencer's not there. I call out.

"Love?"

I see her sitting over the kitchen counter.

"Spence, are you alright?" I run to her and hug her. But she's not staring at anything, she's not even answering.

"Were you having a nightmare?" She's not answering either, she's just staring blank.

I hold her and she's shaking. I carry her to bed, she seems extremely depressed. Her mascara is running down her face, but she could not look more gorgeous to me.

"I'm scared" She says, I could barely hear her,

"Calm down, Spence…" I have no idea how to calm her down, I start to panic. I thought she was going to breathe out but instead she lets out a deafening scream. I cuddle with her in bed and caress her hair until she stops crying and falls asleep. I see my phone and it's 4:36am.

I wake up by the light that gets in through the window, it's 6:47am, I think I just slept 2 hours, I have no idea why Spencer woke up and had a breakdown. I thought she was happy, I thought she was going to wake me up with kisses but instead she's looking fragile next to me. I see her paler than usual, even a little yellow.

I kiss her and she's so cold.

"Spencer, babe wake up…" I shake her a little.

"Spencer?" I shake her harder and get out of bed pulling the sheets.

The bed has a huge blood stain, she's bleeding. She's bleeding a lot.

"Spencer?" I shake her up while my voice cracks at the last syllable of her name. I start to cry not knowing what to do, not this time please, don't take my babies away from me.

"I hold my phone and can't even see the lockscreen my hand is shaking so hard and everything is spinning around. I dial 911 and manage to call an ambulance. I could not get the words out of my mouth.

I sat in front of the bed not knowing what to say or even think. I start throwing everything around me. I lay with her and hold her trying to warm her up, she's colder, she even looks dead to me, everything is turning black and all I could feel was her hair. I scream out loud my pain because this can't be happening to me. I suddenly feel pain down my throat because I couldn't get air.

We were meant to have a family.

And now I might lose both of them.


	8. Chapter 8

**Things happened so fast, truth is I have been planning to do that since chapter 4. I'm sorry! I promise you'll feel better, I'm updating fast because:**

 **1\. You guys probably hate me right now.**

 **2\. Personally I hate cliffhangers.**

 **3\. I don't want to do homework.**

 **4\. I love you.**

 **5\. I also love Sara she's the best.**

 **Toby's POV**

I'm laying on a hospital bed right now. Strong lights dangling from the ceiling block my view. I don't recall all that happened this morning, I don't even remember what happened, my head is hurting like hell and my heart aches like I just lost somebody.

As soon as I remember the fact that Spencer was unconscious when we woke up today I run to the nearest doctor yanking off the iv on my arm, I'm alright, Spencer is not, they need to help Spencer and our baby,NOT ME. I ask him for Spencer and I'm shaking , I'm holding him rudely. I feel a hand touch my shoulder and I relieve for a second thinking she was Spencer.

"Toby, calm down, please.." I hear Emily's voice. She could see the hurt and pain through my eyes. I can't get the words out of my mouth I just let out a sob. She's hugging me tightly and helping me with my breathing. My breathing is so heavy just like when I found out my mom committed suicide and I was 11. It hurts me just like that, it's unbearable, I don't even wish this feeling to anyone. It's a different feeling, you won't feel this with a breakup or a fight or when you're sad, you will feel this when you lose a part of you and try to accept the fact that they're not coming back.

"To...Toby.." Emily holds away her grip and stares at me serious, she looks like she has been crying. I don't wanna hear this, I don't wanna hear any of this.

"I'm sorry." She says with tears in her eyes and my soul fell apart, I don't even want to imagine any of it,the thought just repeats in my head.

Spencer is not dead, Spencer is not dead, Spencer is not dead, Spencer is not dead.

My son is not dead, my son is not dead, my son is not dead, my son is not dead.

I walk away from her and run to the bathroom, I throw up because of everything that has been happening for the last hours, I'm nervous,I throw a punch to the wall and it doesn't even hurt, my anger and sadness is so risen up I can't feel the pain anymore. I cry, I'm letting it all out. I look at myself in the mirror.

"I need to be okay, for her." I speak up to myself and breathe out. There's a knock on the door, I walk out and Emily is standing there looking concerned, then she looked at my hand

"Toby, Spencer's doctor wants to speak with y-what happened to your hand?" I stopped crying minutes ago but I don't feel any better,I stare at my hand and see my knuckles are bloated and black. I find Spencer's doctor and he starts saying things I don't understand, I'm not listening to him, maybe those are just bad news, I'm staring and thinking blank.

"... I need you to take your decision." I wake up of my daydream.

"Excuse me?" He looks at me apologetically, knowing that I'm not even listening because i can't even believe the facts.

"We still have time to save one of them, Spencer, or your son."

"I'm…..i'm having a son?" I'm shaking a little bit, everything around me is black I just keep having flashbacks of the best memories with Spencer. I can't let her go, but she will hate me if she wakes up and there's no baby, she was right after all, our son. My head is spinning around. I remember last night what she told me.

'If I'm dying will you save me?' I can't doubt it, I need to save her but a part of me won't forget that I made the decision between her and our son, Spencer will be my reminder everyday but I can't give up with Spencer, she's most part of my life. I can't stand the feel of God taking her away from me.

"S-save her." My voice breaks and my heart destroys in million pieces.

Hours passed and Spencer went into surgery so our baby could be removed from inside of her because it was making her so vulnerable. I can't even accept the fact that she won't be pregnant anymore. I pass my fingers through my hair and wait for her to get out of surgery.

Emily sits next to me. She was dealing with Spencer's parents because I'm not feeling good enough to speak to anyone.

"Everything will be alright."

"I JUST LOST MY SON." I yell at her.

"I know Toby! it wasn't your faul-"

"I chose Spencer."

"You had to choose?" I breathe out ,my eyes are staring nowhere and looking bloodshot red I can feel them, they're also swollen as fuck.

The doctor walks towards us hours after and tells us we can go see her. Emily stays and lets me go by myself, I enter her room and she's asleep, I sit next to her and caress her hair, I hold her now skinnier stomach softly and feel sad. She wakes up minutes after ,I was staring at her sleeping. Her eyes widen out and I could see she was frightened because the last time she fell asleep was in bed with me. She started to scream and stare at me, her pink cheeks went white when she noticed.

"T-Toby?" Tears started to run down her eyes and she started to freak out.

"I'm sorry." She kept holding her stomach and raised her hospital gown, she had a few stitches down her lower stomach. She started to cry loudly. I hold her and soothe her back.

"I'm sorry." The words come out sharp but I don't mean it, I'm not feeling anything at all.

"We will get through this together, okay?" I speak up to comfort her and she just keeps crying.

"Wh-what happened?" She sits up staring nowhere and stops a tear from falling.

"I…. tried waking you up, and you were freezing, you lost a lot of blood and I thought for hours that I lost you two." I'm not crying anymore, I ran out of tears, I'm destroyed on the inside but she looks so shocked I can't even imagine what is going through her 's a knock on the door and both of Spencer's parents walk in.

"Excuse us, Toby can we have a chat with Spencer?" Veronica says and I can't help it but get mad at just the thought that they will yell at Spencer.

"No." I say coldly, Spencer does not want to deal with any of this, specially her parents.

"Excuse me?" Peter says standing in front of me.

I walk both of them out and close the door so Spencer could not hear.

"You have no right to talk to her."

"Toby we didn't know, and she's our daughter." Veronica says.

"And she's my fiancé, she's the love of my life and I don't want to see her more depressed than she already is. So if you just came here to told her off because she was not being safe and because she didn't tell any of you, don't bother. The reason why she didn't tell you it's because she was being Melissa's shade for the millionth time, now if you'll excuse me go make conceited Melissa's baby because you won't even have the opportunity to do that with Spencer's child anymore." They both stay quiet and surprised about what I said. I walk inside of Spencer's room, slam the door on their faces and lock. Spencer is laying on the hospital bed looking vanished, I can't even feel her in the same room, she's gone.

"Thank you for that." Spencer hasn't made any eye contact with me since last night.

"We will get through this together, we can try again.." I try to give her some hope.

"Toby. Stop." I stare at her she has no hope anymore.

"What?" She starts to cry.

"I can't do this, I can't be with you anymore, at the moment you'll just be a reminder of what we had." I can't control myself and I get mad.

"You're breaking up with me?" She holds my hand and puts on there her engagement ring.

"I'm sorry." I grab the ring and throw it around the room, my face is red with anger, it all rises through me I start having goosebumps.

"Oh I'm sorry, that's right you weren't the one that had to choose between you or him, I had to take that decision. I have to live my entire life with that in my mind! AND I CHOSE YOU BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO STAY WITH ME FOREVER, BUT SURE FUCK THAT, FUCK OUR DEAD SON, FUCK OUR ENGAGEMENT, FUCK EVERYTHING." I can't help it and notice the tears in my eyes, she's staring at me terrified, she has no intention on saying anything, i see it on her face.

"Well thank you Spencer, for leaving me alone when we literally need each other the most. You're not the only one destroyed, just remember that, I just lost him too." I walk out and slam the door, I can't go back now. Tears run down my face and I bump with Emily.

"What the fuck happened inside?" I yank her off my arm and run outside the hospital as soon as I could.

Emily's POV

I saw Toby run away seconds ago and I run inside Spencer's room I see her but she's not being herself, she's paler, she's skinnier, she's broken, she's crying desperately.

"Spencer!" I run to her and try to stop her she's hurting herself, she just scratched her arms and she hurts me when I try to stop her, I have to hold her down really strong.

"I WANNA DIE!" She screams while her arms keep bleeding.

"We need you Spencer, stop with all the bullshit." I scream harshly so she could understand, she's crying and I just hold her, her entire body is shaking so hard.

"Calm down, Spencer breathe." It pains me watching her like this, it feels like we're back in high school and I went to visit her to Radley, it wasn't Spencer at all. She cries for another half an hour with no stop and it concerns me, what could have happened between her and Toby. I see her engagement ring on the floor.

"I'm sorry.."

"It's all my fault Emily!"

"It's not, it's destiny Spencer, and if something bad happens it means something great will happen next, I promise."

"Nothing great could happen after this! FOR FUCK'S SAKE EMILY I HATE HIM! DON'T YOU GET IT? STOP BEING SUCH AN IDIOT!"!

"You don't hate Toby. Just shut up Spencer and stop saying shit."

"I don't care about him anymore, and I don't care about anyone else, I will start to care of myself from now on." Her last word makes her voice cracks and she just seems lost again, her eyes are lost.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi guys, i'm sorry i haven't updated for like 3 weeks, I ran out of ideas, readers told me to make a 5 year forward chapter but i will do that later. Hope you guys enjoy!**

 **This one is for Delfi! I love you baby.**

Spencer's POV

I shouldn't have done that, I don't hate Toby, he has always been my happiness and I just paid him with yelling at him and bringing the subject that he shouldn't have chosen me, but if it wasn't for him I will be dead, he saved me and I never thanked him for that. It's my fault he left, I grab my engagement ring Emily picked up from the floor and start playing with it with my fingers, tears start to fall down my face, I reach my phone and try calling Toby, he's not answering, I give up on the 16th call.

Emily comes inside my hospital room.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Can you please go find Toby?" My voice sounds so off, she makes a sad face but then tries to hide it.

"Um…"

"What?"

"He's not answering his phone, I have no idea where he is."

"Oh." I try not to sound hurt, but I really thought he was outside my room waiting for things to calm down between us.

"Spencer, I think the best idea for your mental stability is that you could talk to a psychologist."

"What? I'm fine."

"Spencer you just lose your family, it will be okay."

"I'm okay!" I say but did not notice the tears down my eyes, I did not mean it.

"I'm sorry." She goes outside and comes in.

"Spencer, I'm sorry for your loss, I'm here to help y.." I stop hearing her, that was the most stupid thing to say, my son is not dead,I stare blank to the hospital wall, but tears keep falling.

 **Hanna's POV**

"How is she?" I run to Emily on the waiting room.

"I spoke to and she told me Spencer hasn't spoken a word. She says she's in a denial phase, she won't accept the facts because she does not want them to be true." Emily says worried.

"I'm concerned, Spencer has only been insane a few times, but those times were the worst, she lost it, with all the drugs and depression, I'm concerned she will feel that way again,I can't believe it, everything was alright last night."

"Shut up Hanna. I kind of feel guilty, she told me she was bleeding and I told her it was going to be okay, it did not end up okay at all."

"It's not your fau-Hey wait, where the hell is Toby?" Emily stares to the floor.

"I have no idea where he is, they had a fight, a huge fight and then he stormed off her room crying and drove off. I'm worried he might do something stupid."

"The only things that matter to Toby are Spencer and their son, Emily."

"I know that, but she ended up things with him." Aria joins us.

"Sorry guys I came up as soon as I heard the news. How is Spencer?"

"Not good." I reply.

"What about Toby?" Aria asks surprised he's not there. "Is he inside?"

" He's gone."

 **Aria's POV**

I walk in to talk to Spencer but she's reclined on her hospital bed, she is wearing a gown and she is white, maybe because the blood she lost or because of the surgery. She is staring nowhere and tears keep falling down her now extremely red eyes.

"Honey, are you okay Spence? I'm so sorry." I walk to her and try hugging her but she is a rock, she's not moving at all.

"Please let me help you, I don't want you to be like this, I know you'll be sad but you will get over it, I promise." Her eyes keep flooding with tears but she's not moving at all, it scares me.

"Spence, I need you to be strong. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't Toby's fault either, just please get that in your head." She keeps crying and I see her wounded arms.

"Baby girl, it's going to be okay, please take care of yourself, don't hurt yourself, your son wouldn't want that."

"I have no son." She says with a rough voice, I got scared at first.

"You do have a son Spence, he will be with you all the time, he will also protect you of all the shit you try to do with yourself!" I frown and she is not speaking again, she's just crying, she grabs and raises her gown to show me her scar where the doctors took the baby away, it will be difficult for her, even worse if she will see that scar everyday.

"Scars tell us everything about ourselves, and that one baby girl, is the most brave scar I've ever seen. You could try again, but please don't push Toby away, he's as heartbroken and sad as you are, in fact he had to chose who to save, and honey he chose you. You could have more children, maybe it was a sign that you guys are not ready. I'm sorry it happened to you, I wish I could take away all your pain and you could face your problems easier." She cries harder and I kiss her forehead. I need to leave her alone, I can't even watch her like this, it breaks me.

 **Spencer's POV**

Where is Toby? I need Toby, my body aches, I have no idea what is going through my mind at the moment I could barely think about Toby right now, will he take me back? After I hurt his feelings? What am I doing in a hospital? Am I okay? Is Toby okay? Will Toby love me after I tell him I won't be able to have kids? At least that's what the doctor said. Why can't I have kids? Why am I crying so hard? Suddenly the truth hit me.

It hurts so bad, I feel a hole in my chest. I try to scream so it would stop hurting, I was having a nightmare, everything is alright now. Doctors come to sedate me and I suddenly realize I'm still in a bad dream, wake up Spencer. I cry hard and suddenly feel my body that was so tense it's calmed now. Everything goes black.

 **Emily's POV**

The doctors are concerned about Spencer, they say she is having mental breakdowns and that she needs support, but she does not need support from me. She needs Toby but I honestly think he's not coming back, I have never seen Toby so heartbroken, his engagement, his baby, his Spencer, everything faded away from him in minutes. I'm honestly so concerned about both of them, I don't know what are they going to do. They're both such Romeo & Juliet.

Where is Toby? I try to call him one more time and he finally answers.

"Toby?" I hear crying on the other line.

"Emily. What have I done?"

"What do you mean? You haven't done anything! Get over here, everyone is worried about you. Where are you?" I frown, he hangs up, I try calling him again but he turned his phone off the exact moment he ended the call.

"FUCK" I'm mad, they are both being so selfish with each other! they're not going to solve their problems if they're not going to talk anymore, eventually THEY HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT AND START TO OVERCOME THE SITUATION, they could have another chance or maybe Spencer is right and hope does breed eternal misery.

 **I promise the next chapter will be longer, in fact it's difficult to make it that long if Toby's not in the chapter at all, warning: he won't appear in the next chapters. I hope you liked it, please review I want to know what you all guys think, what did Toby do and where is he? How is Spencer going to escape her depression? If I get more reviews I promise I will try to update faster. Thank you loves, i love you all.**


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